Relationship Components Menu

This tool is meant as a discussion aid to allow individuals in a relationship to identify and discuss their personal desires and relationship expectations. Add, alter, and remove menu items as needed to make the tool work for you and your relationships. Remember that this is a discussion aid and only the start of a conversation. Revisit the menu as needed when circumstances or relationships change.

0: Doesn't Apply
1: Not Ever
2: Not Right Now
3: Open/Curious
4: Preferred
5: Essential

Commitment

Marriage:

Pregnancy/children together:

Coparenting children from other partnerships:

Sharing pet(s):

Having a key:

Cohabitation:

Home ownership:

Prioritization over other partners:

Relationship labels:

Planning for future:

Expectation of long term involvement:

Commitment to working through challenges:

Commitment to relationship maintenance:

Power of attorney/wills:

Support through health challenges:

Additional comments:

Physical Intimacy

Physical affection:

Public displays of affection:

Compatible sex drives:

Sexual chemistry:

Orgasms:

Kissing:

Oral sex:

Manual sex:

Mutual masturbation:

Penetration/PIV:

Using sex toys:

Condom/barrier use:

Regular STI testing:

Kinky stuff:

Threesomes/Group sex:

Additional comments:

Emotional Intimacy

Expressing happiness/joy:

Offering support in hard times:

Sharing vulnerable feelings:

Saying 'I love you':

Sharing stories about past:

Sharing hopes for future:

Knowing personal likes/dislikes:

Using pet names:

Sharing about mental health challenges:

Supporting mental health work:

Additional comments:

Communication

Daily/Frequent check ins:

Texting:

Phone/Video calls:

Discussing work and hobbies:

Discussing family, partners, relationships:

Discussing politics and current events:

Ability to express disagreements or hurt feelings:

Ability to address and resolve conflict:

Radical honesty:

Additional comments:

Financial Management

Shared bank account(s):

Mutual contributions to vacation/activity fund:

Financial support:

Large gifts:

Complete financial integration:

Additional comments:

Social Integration

Meeting metamors:

Meeting children:

Meeting parents/siblings/extended family:

Meeting friends:

Spending time as a couple with friends/family:

Positive relationships with metamors:

Serving as +1 for social events:

Presenting as a couple in public setting:

Following on social media:

Presenting as a couple on social media:

Presenting as a couple in professional setting:

Joint vacations with family/metamors:

Additional comments:

Quality Time

Regularly scheduled time together:

Date nights:

Spending the night:

Shared hobbies/activities:

Vacations together as couple:

Calendar mgt/scheduling initiation:

Additional comments:

Autonomy

Balance of time together and apart:

Support to pursue independent interests:

Maintaining independent friendships:

Maintaining independent romantic relationships:

Equal distribution of relationship power:

Alone time:

Additional comments:

Miscellaneous

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